I haven't posted for several weeks. In early August, myfather was diagnosed with cancer and was given weeks to live. The diagnosis andprognosis were startling. The symptoms leading up to his diagnosis didn'tsuggest cancer, much less cancer in such an advanced stage. Earlier this year,I had thought my father could easily live another decade, maybe two decades ormore. He was only in his sixties, and he hadn't even retired yet. He died onSeptember 19.
When I left in August, I was in the middle of a series ofposts about Craig Keener's recent book on miracles. (For those not familiarwith the series, you can read my introduction to it here.)I'm continuing with that series, and I've decided to include this post about myfather as part of it. I'm doing so for a few reasons. For one thing, healingsoften don't occur when we want them to, and that subject is worth consideringin a discussion of miracles. Secondly, my father's case does involve somemiracles, even though he wasn't healed of his cancer. Third, I still intend topost an index to this series when I'm finished with it. If this post isincluded in that index, then the post should get more readers than it would inisolation. I love my father. I want his story to get a wider audience.
Shortly after my Dad's death, a cousin (who's significantlyolder than me) wrote the following to me in an email about my father:
Wewere not that far apart in years and I think of him more as a brother than anuncle….
I rememberfondly many good times with John. One of my memories is the time he tookme along to one of his softball games. I must have been about 8 or 9, andJohn about 15 or16. When John came up to bat the coach of the opposingteam motioned to his outfielders and told them to move back because John wasup. That is the way I like to think of John - standing tall andcommanding respect. But even more than that, throughout the years, overthe long haul, I remember him as one who was exceedingly generous, to meand to everyone. Stand back people, John is up! I dearly miss him.
My cousin mentioned that my father was generous. He was, andhe was cheerful, faithful, and had many other good attributes. When he died, hehad been married to my mother for 42 years, never separated or divorced. Heprovided my brother and me with a large, stable, peaceful, and happy home togrow up in and return to in later years. There are so many good memories ofexperiences together, conversations, holidays, gifts, vacations, and so muchelse. Dad was a successful businessman. He eventually started his own smallbusiness, which was successful as well. His viewing and funeral were attendedby a lot of people and with a lot of sadness and tears.
I've invested much of my life in apologetics. It's somethingI care deeply about. Much of the work we do on this blog is of an apologeticnature. I've said a lot about the importance of apologetics in the past (likehere),and I won't repeat myself at this point. But I want to say some things about myindebtedness to my Dad in this context.
Dad gave me a home to grow up in and an education. Heprovided me with money for books and other resources and taught me how to use acomputer, which is so valuable in many contexts, including apologetics. Much ofwhat I know about computers and a lot of the computer-related help I'vereceived over the years (repair work, etc.) came from Dad. I have a lot ofmemories of spending time in my parents' home reading books, staying up late atnight to study some issue or another, or writing apologetic material on one ofthe computers, for example. He often encouraged me in my apologetic work. WhenSteve Hays and I published our e-book, TheEnd Of Infidelity, earlier this year, the first response I got was anencouraging email from my father early that morning. On other occasions, heoffered financial help if I wanted it, to return to school or publish a book,for example. If you've benefited from my apologetic work over the years, you'reindebted to my father.
Some of you know that one of my primary interests isChristmas apologetics. (See herefor an overview of my Christmas material, and see herefor a recent update to it.) One of the factors that motivated me to take upthat area of apologetics was a series of media stories criticizing the Biblicalaccounts of Jesus' birth during the Christmas season of 2004, accompanied bythe lack of a significant Christian response. I've been doing a lot of work onChristmas issues since then. But another factor that's always been in thebackground is how Christmas was celebrated in the home I grew up in. It wasalways celebrated as a major holiday, with decorations, music, food, a lot ofgifts, and visiting with relatives. Many of my happiest memories are from theChristmas season. One of the reasons why I've been so concerned about Christmasissues over the years is that I came from a home that encouraged it.
I could say a lot more about my father, but I want to moveon to address something I haven't mentioned yet. Dad wasn't a Christian.
Because he wasn't a Christian, his cancer diagnosis createdtwo difficult situations simultaneously. While he was being cared forphysically, some of us were trying to lead him to Christ. He did eventuallybecome a Christian. I was able to explain the gospel to him many times, discussapologetic issues with him, work through his doubts with him, read scripture tohim, and pray with him, among other things. A passage of scripture that wasespecially important to him was 1 Peter 1:3-5, apparently because of what itcommunicates about the gracious and secure nature of salvation. He asked me towrite a prayer for him based on that passage, which I did. These are some ofthe most treasured experiences of my life. He finished well.
My grandfather and others desired and labored for my Dad'ssalvation for many years. (I still attend the church I went to with mygrandfather when he was alive. When I was at church yesterday, a man who usedto sit next to my grandfather stopped me while I was walking by, to talk to meabout my father's death. He mentioned that he had prayed for my Dad'ssalvation, apparently because my grandfather asked him to. That would have beenmore than 15 years ago, maybe even 20 years ago or more. Those prayers wereanswered, though it took a long time.) I've been thinking a lot about how theday of my Dad's arrival in Heaven was a happy day not only for him, but alsofor my grandfather and others who would meet him there.
When my grandfather died in 1996, his death had asignificant maturing effect on me. I want the same to be true of my father'sdeath. I may not see him again for something like 50 or 60 years. I want to usethat time well.
I would not with swift wingèd zeal
On the world’s errands go,
And labor up the heavenly hill
Withweary feet and slow.
God’s providence was evident manytimes and in many ways during the events following my father's diagnosis. There’stoo much to dismiss all of it as coincidental. Some of what occurred ishighly likely to have been supernatural. I wasn't expectingthese things to happen, but I noticed a pattern early on, and it was a sourceof a lot of comfort, encouragement, and joy during a difficult time.
I have a lot to be grateful for. Cancer is a terribleillness. There was a lot of sadness during the closing months of my father'slife, and I miss my Dad. But there have been blessings that weigh a lot more.God is the fountain of living waters (Jeremiah 2:13), whose riches areunfathomable (Ephesians 3:8), in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdomand knowledge (Colossians 2:3). "Thy best,thy heavenly friend through thorny ways leads to a joyful end."
Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sovereign will.
Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.
His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
Butsweet will be the flower.
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