Mystery on Mars

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NASAreports an “earthshaking” discovery on Mars (one for the “history books”),although spokemen are mum on the details, awaiting further confirmation. I’mlaying bets on what they found. Here are leading contenders:
1. Twinkies2. A velvet Elvis3. Pink plastic flamingos 4. Atlantis5. A putt-putt golf course6. Sadam’s WMD7. Carl Sagan8. A Sani-can9. Col. Sander’s secret recipe10. Obama’s Kenyan birth certificate11. A telescope facing our way12. The Holy Grail13. Jimmy Hoffa’s stiff14. Flight 1915. Space junk16. The lost tribes of Israel17. Justin Bieber’s manhood18. El Dorado 19. The fountain of youth20. Rosie O’Donnell’s talent21. My car keys22. The missing link23. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry24. The Roanoke Colony25. Andrew Garfield’s toupee26. Will Robinson27. Camelot28. Bertrand Russell’s deathbed confession (“I take it allback!”)29. A “No Trespassing” sign30. The Palestinian homeland31. A “No Littering” sign32. Garden gnomes33. Bill Maher’s brain34. Precambrian rabbits35. Britney Spears’s virtue35. A rough draft of The Martian Chronicles36. Rocks arranged to spell: “God is still alive andNietzsche is still dead!”37. An autographed, first edition of the Koran containingthe original preface: “A burlesque in 114 chapters. Any resemblance to realevents is purely coincidental.”