Zombieland

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Asculturally astute observers have already noted, the end of Hostess marks thefateful prelude to the zombie apocalypse (a la Zombieland). So we need to takeprecautionary measures. Time is running out.
My recommendation is mandatory mass conversion to Judaism.Jewish zombies won’t eat you alive. It’s not kosher. At a minimum, you need tobe exsanguinated before you find yourself on the dinner menu. And since zombiesdon’t rate very high on the Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale, it’s unlikelythat they’d be smart enough to practice shechita.
As a fringe benefit, this precautionary measure is equallyapplicable to Jewish vampires, in case vampires take over the world (a laDaybreakers).
If both zombies and vampires try to take over theworld, the rest of us can retreat into our Idaho bunkers and wait until thecoast is clear.
Admittedly, Reform Jewish zombies might have no compunctionabout taking a bite out of you. You can only count on Hasidic zombies andHasidic vampires to honor the kosher code. So the mandate must favor Hasidism.